The Clone Chronicles
Journal of the Jojo Clone, an eight nine ten year old girl who also wants to start posting her thoughts online.
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A Lot Of Good Reasons That You SHOULDN'T Bother Children
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible. The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah". The teacher asked, " What if Jonah went to hell?" The little girl replied, "Then you ask him". A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was. The girl replied, "I'm drawing God." The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like." Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute." A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honor" thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?" Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill." One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head. She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?" Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white." The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?" The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. "Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or! 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.' A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher, She's dead. " A teacher was giving a lesson on t he circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face.." "Yes," the class said. "Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?" A little fellow shouted, "Cause your feet ain't empty." The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE. God is watching." Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples.
Friday, March 31, 2006; 8:33 PM |
NEW IN IN OUR KITCHEN
There will be a new post in In Our Kitchen. This post was made by me, my sisters, and my mom with stuff that we cooked. We will be experimenting with food. And don't put a boiled egg that's not fully boiled into the microwave.
Saturday, March 18, 2006; 10:00 PM |
Jesus Saves
Modern Day Parable
Jesus and Satan were having an ongoing argument about who managed to get the most out of his computer. This had been going on for days and God was tired of hearing all of the bickering. God, said "Cool it. I am going to setup a test that will run two hours and I will judge who does the better job."
So down they sat at the keyboards and typed away.They moused away.They did spreadsheetsThey wrote reportsThey sent faxesThey sent out e-mailThey sent out e-mail with attachmentsThey downloaded They did some genealogy reportsThey made cardsThey did every known job.
But just a few minutes before the two hours were up, a lightning bolt flashed across the sky. The thunder rolled and the rains came down hard. And, of course, the electricity went off. Satan was furious. He fumed and fussed and he ranted and raved. All to no avail. The electricity stayed off.
But, after a bit, the rains stopped and the electricity came back on. Satan screamed "I lost it all when the power went off. What am I going to do? What happened to Jesus' work?"
Jesus just sat and smiled. Again Satan asked about the work that Jesus had done. As Jesus turned his computer back on, the screen glowed and when he pushed "print," it was all there. "How did he do it?" Satan asked.
God smiled and said, "Jesus Saves."
Saturday, March 04, 2006; 6:46 PM |
